Uncomfortable conversation

Detail

Something happened today that made me really uncomfortable. I was with a group of people, some of which I didn’t know very well and we were talking about nothing and everything, being funny and hilarious. Then, one woman started talking about a situation she’d been in at her previous job. A colleague, who everyone knew to be on the autistic spectrum, had invited everyone to his birthday party and asked everyone to prepare some kind of activity. So far so good, but then she proceeded to make fun of the party and described various activities in the most ridiculous way possible.It did sound terrible but she had told us before that the poor guy wasn’t like everyone else and I felt really, really uncomfortable with the direction this was taking. First of all, shouldn’t she just have played along at the party (which apparently she didn’t) because, well, it’s what the guy liked and she did go for him after all. Secondly, why tell us about it in a way that became more and more mean (I felt) as she went on. And thirdly, no-one said a thing. I think I would have if I had been with friends but I didn’t want to be the killjoy. Now I feel guilty. Was it my responsibility to interfere? She wasn’t really hurting anyone. But making fun of someone with whatever-it-is-called just seems so very wrong to me. I’m not sure what to think. I hope I would have had the guts to stand up to her if there had been someone affected present. On the other hand I don’t know that there wasn’t; I didn’t really know the people all that well after all. In the situation I realised what was going on but I made the choice not to say anything because everyone else was laughing and didn’t seem to feel like there was anything wrong with it. Were they all thinking the same maybe? She isn’t a terrible person, I don’t think. But I feel a lot more cautious about her now. Maybe that is also not fair.

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Filed under Community, Ethics, good vs. bad

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